There's a heartbeat!

There has been a bit of a long gap between postings here but there has been a lot going on. Had a positive pg test on Christmas Eve! Had a scan on the friday after that to check that the sac was in the uterus - it was! Then had another scan the friday after that to check sac was still there and growing - it was. Then, had a scan today to look for heartbeat and there was one! I was so nervous going in there this morning, and the relief that I felt when she said - 'well, there's a heartbeat!' I just can't even describe. I am measuring about 6.5 weeks. We have a picture and everything. Next step is to make an appointment with a regular old OB/GYN like a normal person. IVF clinic will see me once more before then but thats it. Can't quite believe it yet and it hasn't really sunk in. It was so sweet when I came out of the changing room, the nurse that always takes the blood and never seems to really recognize me every time, gave me a big hug and did the whole fist in the air thing. The other nurse that runs the front desk was also all smiles and congratulations. That was nice.

Embies are in

So, they got 4 fertilized with ICSI. No-one told us they were doing ICSI although it had been discussed but we had never fully signed off on it. They wanted me to sign the papers yesterday which I refused so they didn't charge for it although Dr. made it clear we may not have gotten 4 if they hadn't done it.
Transfer was yesterday. We had to go in at 8:45 for a 9:30 transfer.

The Dr's are 1) Dr. Frankfurter (aka Dr. Sausage and 2) Dr. Gindoff (aka Dr. Wizard as it sounds like Gandalf)
Dr. Sausage is my doctor and the one I saw for all the consultations. Dr. Wizard I have seen before but didn't like him and he put me off that clinic until lots of other people told me to see Frankfurter instead.

So, I had Dr. Wizard for all the procedures as he was the one on this week to do them. He apparantly is very good and has lots of qualifications and awards and is actually the main man at the clinic - he just has no people skills.
After the procedure he was talking again about the Assisted Hatching and said - 'you can thank me in 2 weeks'. I really appreciated him saying that in a weird way as it gave me confidence that he wasn't just doing it for the extra money which is always a worry but he was doing it for me.

When I arrived we had the same room as on Friday. They gave me some Valium which they give to calm the uterus down so it doesn't cramp. (only a low dose though).
Then I had to drink some water to fill up my bladder. This was about 9am and the procedure was being done at 9.30. About 9.15 there was no sign of Wizard and I was busting. The nurse let me let a cup out but I was still busting. At about 10 I had to go again -she didn't know where Wizard was so I thought sod it I'll go and start again with the water when he gets here. He arrived just as I walked out of the bathroom so then he started on about Assisted Hatching. I was so shocked as I was not prepared for this. I said 'but I don't know anything about it and haven't done any research'. The dr said 'well, we have and its whats best for these embryos', or something like that. I asked him to get my real dr. to confirm and he agreed is was the best thing. So, we signed off on it.
The nurse came in an explained exactly what would happen during the procedure and how they get the embies in there. Wizard showed us pictures of the embryos which were looking nice - 8 cells. 3 were a grade 1 and 1 was a grade 2 (slightly fragmented) but still worth freezing. He ticked off the 2 we would use and it felt weird to think that if he'd ticked a different two we'd have a totally different child. Just by the flick of a pen. Bizarre.
So, anyway they put 2 embies in and we froze 2. Additonal $2,100 it was for that and the AH but its a lot less than another full cycle.

David was in there with me this time which was much better. I hate the transfer part - the speculum thing is horrible. I had my mantra with me which I read the whole time it was going on.
It is:

I trust and honor my body

Earth my body
Air my breath
Water my blood
Fire my spirit

My body is the perfect host for new life.

It is on the ceiling in the room I have acupuncture and is very empowering.

So, I had to rest, reclined back then for about 30 minutes then I could use the bathroom. During this time Dr. Sausage came in to apologize about the ICSI thing and told us we probably wouldn't have got 4 if he hadn't done it. He was very apologetic. Also talked to us a lot about what to do the next few days and generally about this protocol vs the other one etc. It was really nice of him.

They then gave us a picture of the ultrasound with 2 white specs on it where the embies are. Lets hope its not the last ultrasound scan I get to take home...

So, I came home and had to rest for the day. I have cancelled all work this week and am going to try to not do very much. They say Day 5 is when they should implant so that should be Wednesday (tomorrow).

Dr. Sausage said I couldn't do anything related to the move so I am pretty helpless as there's so much to do and I just have to look at it. We are moving on Saturday but have moved quite a lot of stuff already as we had the keys last weekend. It shouldn't be too bad. I am basically going to leave David to it on Saturday and go to stay at a friends house for the day so I'm not tempted to do anything.

Retrieval

It has been a tough week of monitoring. Had to go monday tuesday and wednesday at 6.30 ish for blood and ultrasound.
I have been so tired all week and anxious and excited all at same time. I had acupunture yesterday which really helped. They called me on Wednesday to say retrieval would be Friday. So, I did HCG shot on Wednesday night. David mixed up the bottles for me and I did the injection in my right thigh. At least it wasn't in the butt this time with D having to do it so that was great. My leg really hurt though on Thursday and was all red at the injection site but its fine today.

So, I went in for retrieval today. They got nine eggs! Yay! So, they're back to being called the names of Santas reindeer now. We did have a funny five minutes of thinking we could name a future baby after one of them but soon decided against Blitzen Baker.

It was a nice experience at the clinic. The nurses were all so lovely, except the one put my IV in wrong so they had to do it again while I'm in the operating room. Of course, then they couldn't get it in for ages and after about 3 more tries they finally found a vein. I am black an blue all over my arms now. This is not the first time this has happened. There was a couple that came in for transfer - we couldn't see them but the guy was asking the nurse what his morphology count was - it was 76 million last time he said. They told him he didn't know. When I got back after the retrieval David said that he had hunted down the head of morphology to find out and came back very pleased with himself.

The other thing was that Dr. Frankfurter couldn't do the retrieval so I had to have Dr. Gindoff. He's the one I went to see first at GW who I really didn't like and never wanted to set foot in that clinic again until my GYN told me I should try another dr. there, which is how we got Frankfurter. But as it happens, I have had no communication from Frankfurter himself during the last 3 weeks. When the nurse told me this morning it was Gindoff I said Oh, no, you're joking. Next thing Frankfurter was there apologizing profusely for not being able to do it - something about the snow and his week getting pushed back and having to see patients today. He said he would try his best to be there for the transfer. Should bloody think so. Kind of makes me wonder why it matters which Dr. I went for considering I haven't had to deal with them since the consultations. I saw Gindoff only briefly when he came to say there was nine eggs, but I only vaguely remember it as I had just come round.

We went in at 8am and David did his thing. Then I went in for retrieval at 9.30. I was back in the room at 10.15 and we left about 11.45 or so.
He got me some lunch and then went to the office to take all the kit back so that we could have the space in the car this weekend to move house. I put a film on 'Failure to launch' but only saw about the first 20 minutes as I fell asleep for the rest of it. Looked pretty rubbish anyway.
We just have to wait until tomorrow when they will be calling about the # that have fertilized. I am much calmer today. I guess I was more worried about the retrieval than I thought. I suppose its because of the poor results last time. I am just relieved to have more than 4 to play with.

Where are the Apostles?

Had another scan and blood today. Estrogen is 900. Apparantly quite high.
It was 119 on Friday. Anyway, looked like the right follicles were doing well at around 10-12mm but left ones are lagging behind a bit and are too small (< 8mm) so can't be measured. They are tweaking the meds to let the left side catch up. Had to take Ganirilex today - thats to suppress the LH hormone so I don't ovulate on my own. Then I only have to do 75 units of Follistim tonight and none tomorrow. I have to have another b/w and u/s tomorrow so another 6am start. Thank goodness I have the car though - its much nicer than having to get on the metro at 6.15. I am happy to pay $7 parking to avoid that. David is in Venezuela and he'll be back tomorrow afternoon.

So, overall I'm a little concerned about my slow left ovary and hope it catches up in time, otherwise may just be left with 4 follies again. How sad will that be?

Those Blooming Follicles

Went for monitoring today. I have 12 lovely follicles blooming. 4 on the right and 8 on the left - all less than 10mm. It makes perfect sense as the right ovary is the one that was operated on last year.
I am proud of my 12 follicles, and feel very protective of them. Considering I only had 6 last time this is progress! David wanted to know if I would name them. Thought this was a great idea and wanted to call them the names of Santa's reindeer but after a quick google search I realise there are only nine reindeer. Another search for 'famous twelves' and I got the 12 Apostles (probably should have known that anyway, but my Religious Education was many moons ago).

So, the follicles will hereby be known as:

Simon
Andrew
James
John
Philip
Bartholomew
Matthew
Thomas
James
Simon
Judas
Matthias (was Judas Iscariat before he turned)

Of course, I know nothing really about each one and I am not religious by any stretch of the imagination but why not put a little faith in a higher power for once?
These are all boys names and David told me last night though that because he drinks we would have a girl. Apparantly someone told him that if you're a bit of a drinker you will have a girl first. I mean, I don't mean he's an alcoholic but probably drinks more than your average suburban American, but not that much more than your average Welsh Valleys boyo. When we thought about it, all of our friends who drink quite a bit had girls first, then boys after they had already had one child and couldn't go out drinking so much. Maybe there's something in it, who knows...

Started meds

Started taking meds on Tuesday 11/20/07. It was supposed to be Monday but I messed up the mixing and everything and had to abandon.

It was cetrotide shot - apparantly this suppresses LH hormone. I had a needle with medication in it and another bottle of powder it had to mix with. You had to inject the needle into the bottle with the powder - mix it around till it all dissolved, then draw the resulting solution back out into another needle and inject. I think I shook it around too much to mix it up, then read the instructions that said don't do that as you don't want too many bubbles. There were a lot of bubbles. Then I was told to make sure all the air is out by pushing the syringe in a little to get it all out. Well there were so many bubbles and I kept tilting the syringe to see if all the air was out and there was still a huge air bubble. I kept pressing the syringe to get the air out but eventually ran out of medication. I was paniking, especially when I looked at the bill from the drug company and realised each one of these is $500. I rang the nurse but she didn't ring back until the evening. It was fine as I could try again on Day 3 - without any problem. She tried to talk me through exactly how to do it (again) but I got so confused, eventually she told me to go to the clinic the next day and she would give me the shot. David came with me too and he did the next one.
He's very good and calm about these things. We had to do a similar thing before with the HCG shots and he always mixed those up so I had never done that before which is why I panicked I think. Anyway, I only needed 2 in the end so didn't have to order another one thank goodness.

So, I did 2 cetrotide shots on day 3 and day 6, and also Provera on day 3,4,5,6,7,8,9.
On day 9 (monday) I went for monitoring and they told me I didn't need another cetrotide and to stop Provera. Then I started Follistim on Day 10 (Tuesday).
Today is Day 12.

I have also had a long period (almost like 2 periods). I told the nurse this on monday and tuesday and she said not to worry as it was an effect of the drugs.
As I was still bleeding on the Wednesday (yesterday) I started to get more concerned and annoyed with myself for not even knowing why this is. I realised I didn't have a clue of the protocol I am on and had not been asking enough questions. I wasn't able to call on Wednesday due to being in the office at WETA and everyone being able to hear a conversation. Then saw my acupuncturist this morning who's like,' Caron, you're paying them enough money - you should know whats going on. She's right of course, and I feel totally out of control of the situation. Anyway, called the Nurse (Frederica who is very lovely). She called me back around 4 and told me not to worry and explained the protocol. Cetrotide is to suppress LH and Provera is to build up uterine lining. Of course, I'm still not really any the wiser. It was something to do with not having had the BCP's at the start - I didn't want them as it was taking them before that seemed to have given me the fibroid issues, although I can't be sure I just want to steer clear of them.
Anyway, now I am on Follistim so I am much more comfortable, this being my 3rd time using it. It seems so easy compared to the mixing type drugs. Just stick a needle on the end of a pen and inject. Bobs your uncle.
I'm doing 150 units morning and evening and 0.1 of Ovidril in the pm and also anti-biotics am and pm (doxycyclene). That was something to do with toxic tubes although I think it sounds a lot worse than it actually is.
I kind of wish the doctor would call - I mean its been almost 2 weeks and I've had no interaction with him. Feel a bit cheated really.

Also, the monitoring is awful. You have to go to the clinic between 6.15 and 7.15 am! You have to line up to have blood drawn - its like a conveyor belt. Then you go to a room and undress and wrap a paper sheet around the lower half whilst waiting with another person to go into the sonogram. A Nurse you have never seen before does the old dildo cam who doesn't know anything about you or your situation. Its just weird, especially after using Dr. Simons office last time where I think I was the only IVF patient they had, although thats a worry in itself right there.

Too much?

I have spent the last few days on the phone to pharmacies trying to get the meds for a decent price. I managed to get a $2000 reduction just by shopping around. Went with Metro Drugs in the end. Its been a headache though and not really needed when you're stressing anyway. Also just found out the dates of everything. I will be having ER around mid Dec so the 2 week wait will be leading up to christmas, with pg test sometime around Christmas day! I am a tad concerned about this as it means I'm going to be on edge the whole of christmas. We have our inlaws with us too so there won't be much privacy. I have to think positive and believe it is good as we will have people to celebrate with, and will have a wonderful Christmas present!

Also we are trying to move house at the same time. I am not quite sure why this seems like a good idea. We're only renting so it is slightly less stressful than if we were buying but still going to be a headache. We really want to get in our new place by Christmas, and at least I'll have something to take my mind off of the 2 week wait.